Soundproof

I travel quite frequently and airports usually have little glass cages, complete with dedicated ventilation systems to keep a particular breed of migrating wildlife from causing mass disturbance with their habits.

I am speaking of smokers. Not that they are bad people... I have some very dear friends who smoke like chimneys and I love them just the same. That said, I do not like or condone their habits.

I work and strive to make sure I'm clean and presentable each and every day. It's is just one notch below infuriating when someone lights up, allowing their disdainful smoke to pollute my clothing, hair, and nostrils.


I relate the above wildlife with those common in Utah Valley. I am referring of course, to those accompanied by rambunctious children.

That said, I love children. I adore children! They are (hopefully) open, inquisitive, honest, loving, and innocent.

but...

Small children do NOT belong in formal performances.

It is one notch above infuriating to have hours of work, backed by years of toil and training required to perform, reduced to a cacophony of chords and crying.

Perhaps parents don't understand what work is put into the craft. Perhaps they are so used to the distracting noises they don't notice. Perhaps they are just less intelligent that most.

The problem will never simply vanish, so I propose that:

- Every new venue and performance hall constructed in the state of Utah shall include a glass confine complete with soundproof glass and dedicated ventilation and sound monitors.

- All persons accompanied by young children shall remain in said confine with their children until the conclusion of performance.

- All persons wearing unusually large skirts or overcoats may be subject to search to avoid infiltration by young persons hiding in said skirts or overcoats. Large bags may also be subject to search.

- Persons insisting on speaking during performances will be required to remain with children in the confine until they discontinue acting like children.

- Persons clapping in between movements may also be required to remain in the confine.

- Persons using cell phones in any way - excepting sound recording - shall be removed from the performance immediately.

Ok... I'm done.

Forgive me if I offend, perhaps I just don't understand...