Offset

I've been looking over my other postings and wow... That said, here's a little something fun.

I really do love those kids!


9th/25th Ward Paint War

A Mood

I like people, all kinds of people. I like the people in my new ward, such a sweet bunch of kids if I do say so myself. Friends make me happy; just being around friends makes me forget the past, and live in the now.

Generally I'm a happy person, especially around other happy people. I really do enjoy the fun and games but to be honest I'm tired, I'm tired of the game. I gave up the life I knew to play the game; I thought I had to know what it was about. Yep, life was great and going to be even better; I even had the ring.

Then I kind of saw what was coming, and how things would be if I stayed on the path I was on.

And that was it. It's been over a year…

Someone I thought I could trust said, "If he wonders now he'll always wonder." I suppose it's true, but I tell you what, I don't wonder anymore. And I don't want to play anymore. Another so called friend said, "You just need to do it." I was blind to the ulterior motive behind her words; I learned what sefishness can make a person say.

As for my happiness, I am happy for the most part. Sometimes I wake up in the morning with a knot but it dissapears after a while and I continue my day with a feeling of optimism and accomplishment.

As my 25th approached I remember thinking: How can life get any better! I was ever optimistic, upbeat, and excited to be alive. It seemed like there was purpose behind everything. I'm almost there again, but something is still missing.

Here's to the game…

I'm out folks…

Filler Post

A beautiful Saturday morning and I'm sitting on a sofa looking over some online profiles instead of hiking or something more productive. I decided to take a look at profiles of people I've never met and their friends to see what they put out for the world to see. I wonder why the online frenzy? Perhaps its an attempt to find meaning in life? Do they (and this includes me) just want to have their inner thoughts and desires professed without actually having to do so face to face?
For me, it seems like a good way to show the world, at least my own little world, that I have deep thoughts, needs, desires etc.

That being said, I wonder if it is truly an effective tool for getting to know people. It seems to show what people really are in some way. It takes a little reading between the lines, but it seems like people really do want to be known.

Now for another thought; every site seems to have a little spot where a person's religion can be named. I see so many people claiming to be Mormon or LDS with pictures to prove it. There are so many happy smiling faces in Sunday dress, at General Conference, with family, and so many other places. I really wonder how deep their understanding of the gospel really is when they display self named "sexy" or "hot" photos right next to them. I even saw a wedding photo of several bridesmaids right outside the Salt Lake Temple "showing some leg."

I'm not perfect, nor do I claim to be. Those who know me best can definitely attest to this, but I really do try to be the best I can be with what understanding I have.

…Just my thoughts for the morning.

A Thoughtful Update

At times I feel like an insecure child wishing for understanding. It's not that easy I know; but I would like it. I do in fact wish for understanding from those I actually find myself opening up to.

Perhaps I share too much, and yes, I suppose I am complaining. I have never been so naïve as to assume I truly comprehend everything, and I'm fully aware that I have many shortcomings. I don't ever regret time spent learning from others and especially teaching others. Building understanding does take time and effort but I often wish I could just skip all of the games and just find those with experience similar to my own.

Anyway…

I moved into my new place on Wednesday and admittedly was very disappointed. Carpets were dirty, walls were dirty, holes were partially patched, and the place smelled like… something bad. But the management really stepped up; the carpets were cleaned, leaky plumbing fixed, stove fixed, and all the other things that make student housing a temporary home were taken care of. The place smells great, the stove works; it feels like a home instead of a hotel. It's really starting to grow on me.

For the first time in a long time I spent the entire weekend very busy while doing absolutely nothing productive! It all started Friday with IMAX Spiderman III, moved to Johnny Carino's and then went from there to Ogden Canyon and a timeshare with old friends and great times. It was nostalgic, the Halo, the basketball games (though I've never been a huge fan of basketball,) Dumb and Dumber, Smallville and more Smallville and of course more Halo. I have Remy Zero forever stuck in my head!

And now for my final thought (yes, now is where you lean forward with anticipation!)

I simply spread myself too thin. I can see myself trying to be everywhere for everyone, but only seem to show others I won't be there when I say I will. I try to justify it, but come on Jarom… you should know better by now… just say it… just say no…