Smile!

It has been a beautiful day; I promised to write today in an effort to counter the negativism so apparent in the last post.

I have been outside most of the day, save 90 minutes to hit up 24 hour Fitness. For some strange reason I have learned to truly enjoy working outdoors. It seems that the last few years have done something to change that around and I worry, at times, that a career in law would really leave me wanting in that department.

This blog seems to be so full of writings created when I was in a mostly depressed state and so I will take the advice of Joseph Joubert and write when I am the most happy. It has been a long time since entering that long and dark tunnel, and I’m really finding true joy these days, independent of others – at least to a point.

I found that surrounding myself with emotionally stable people was the most important part of just being happy. There is a time and a place to reach out to someone who may need a little boost, but one at a time. I think that has to be my new motto.

I’ve decided to start a project for my mother; her trees, lawn, garden, and other outdoor areas have been neglected for a few years, and it’s time to do something about it. When I was younger there was always some green grass to lay on; a warm place to read a book. There was always somewhere to have a barbecue with friends.

My dad wanted his yard to have plenty of shade, so he planted trees, too many trees by reasonable standards. The main bulk of work I will have to complete for this project will be the removal of excess trees and difficult pruning; it will definitely be worth every minute of the work. This project will also give me more time to think to myself. It is something I am finally able to do without becoming angry or frustrated.

Some thoughts concerning ‘butterflies’ came to mind and I have come to this conclusion: butterflies are simply a part of infatuation, they are nice for a moment, but can lead a person to do some very foolish things.

The thrill of initial attraction caused by the same chemical reactions which give rise to the physical sensations of fear and excitement are often confused for something more than simple physical appeal or the allure created by the enhancement of another's desirable traits through personal imagination.

Instead of thrill seeking, look for someone who creates in you a true desire to be a better person and who helps you be your best self without criticism.

Find someone who sees the qualities in you that you have a difficult time believing you have.

Spend your time with that person who would have no reservations taking care of you physically for the rest of your life even if some serious misfortune were to befall you tomorrow, and you were perhaps destined to spend your remaining days completely handicapped.

Find someone you can be silly and juvenile with while knowing that taxes and dishes will get finished without coercion.

Find someone who apologizes whenever they hurt or offend, even when it wasn’t intentional or was simply a result of your own insecure oversensitivity.

Look for someone who has different experiences and friends but who shares your values and beliefs.

Find someone you can converse with for hours and also sit with in comfortable silence.

Find someone who will challenge your intellect as well as your perceptions.

Find a person who leaves you feeling warm, calm and contented inside rather than shaky, clumsy, out of breath and uncertain. The real ‘butterflies’ will come as surely as age – over and over again.

Most of all, be the best person you can be for someone else; be the person you are looking for. The only person you can truly shape, mold, and truly improve is you.

“Only choose in marriage a man whom you would choose as a friend if he were a woman.”

– Joseph Joubert